Hiking and thinking 山登りと考えること

IMG_20150721_213036My summer vacation is over. It’s been 4 quick weeks, and I’ve been thinking, as I always do when something good is happening, “I need to enjoy this while it lasts, not before too long I will need to wake up early to go to work again”. And here I am, back in reality. And since I imagined, and sort of feared this occasion for quite a while now it feels very surreal instead.
夏休み終わった。4週間早かったな。いいことがある時、いつものように”もうすぐ終わるから楽しんだほうがいいよ。後少しだけで朝早く起きなくちゃいけない日が来てしまうそ”。そして、やっとその恐れた日が来たら、逆にびっくりして不思議な感じになる。IMG_20150721_160657I spent my summer holiday weeks partly at my parents place and partly in Stockholm. I also went to Grövelsjön in Dalarna in Sweden to hike around for a week with my dad and my friend Linn. It was a very nice trip indeed and I think that despite feeling like nothing has changed during summer, these views and just walking and thinking healed my soul and gave me a bit of new energy. Or at least I hope so.
今年の夏休みを実家やストックホルムにほとんど過ごしたが、友達とお父さんとハイキングにも行った。とてもいい旅だった。夏に何も変わっていない感じがするのに、きっと山登りの景色と長い歩きのおかげで何かの元気とエネルギーがでたんだろう。だとおいいね。IMG_20150722_154235We have had better hiking weather though. The picture below shows is from the peak of mountain Elgåhogna. Apparently the view is supposed to be stunning, but that is nothing I can confirm. Looks more like a zombie attack…
天気があまり良くなかったけどね。したの写真は山の山頂から撮った。景色全く見れなかった、最高らしいのに。何よりもゾンビのアッタクみたい。IMG_20150723_213811While being on holidays, and maybe especially when you go hiking, you have plenty of time to think about stuff you don’t have time to think about otherwise. For example, if you like your situation, such as your job, home, relationship and general direction of your life. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my job. I like it in many ways but I guess I am not as passionate about it as many other people are. And it makes me wonder, am I just that sort of person who doesn’t love my job as much as for example a hobby, or haven’t I just found the right profession yet? But no matter how much I imagine other jobs, say being a baker or a gardener, I can only see other flaws and I guess I’d be as satisfied as at my current work place. Maybe it is just the location that is wrong – maybe I shouldn’t live in Stockholm but rather in Tokyo but still with the same job? I really don’t know anymore. In any case, I don’t think it is necessarily only bad to not be super passionate about your work. Those who are tend to get too much into details and aim at perfection, spending too much time on every task. I imagine at least that I am a bit more efficient, and get the things that really are needed done. I suppose all kinds of people are needed.
お休みの時間、特にハイキングする場合、普通に考える時間ないのことについて考える時間がすでにある。例えば自分の生活、相手や家、仕事とかが満足しているかどうかなどの人生がどこに向かっている関係していること。今回、私は今の仕事についていっぱい考えた。その仕事は好きだけど、他の人みたいにそこまで熱心で興味深い感じで仕事をしているわけではない。それを理解すると、私はただ趣味みたいに仕事が好きになれない人だ、かまたは今の仕事はぴったりじゃないのか、って考え始めてしまうよね。でも、パティシエやガーデナーなどの他の面白そうな仕事を想像すると、多分今まで満足しないんだろうと思っている。だから多分前者だね。もしかして場所だけが違う。東京とかで働けばもっと仕事を好きになるかな?もう分からない。とにかく、仕事をとても熱心ですることのほうは、私みたいにやるべきだからやっているよりいいとは別に思っていない。というのは、熱心すぎると細かいことに時間を使いすぎる場合も多いんだろう。私だったら、本当にやるのは必要な仕事だけで結構効率的に仕事をしていると思う。色な人が必要だね。IMG_20150723_213837IMG_20150723_213946 As I’ve been writing about before, I need a “goal” or some thing to aim at in order to feel happy. For a while now my goal was to find an apartment. And we did. I really like the apartment and it feels like home. We are currently trying to decorate it and that is sort of a mess, but when things get in order I’ll try to take some pictures. We still have moving boxes every here and there, mostly because we can’t agree on what storage furniture to get and also because furniture is just so expensive. It’s funny though, how a sudden interest in and need to buy furniture has sort of killed my urge to buy clothes. I didn’t know it was so easy to get rid of that “hobby”. Now instead I hang around on interior design blogs and search for the perfect desk at Pinterest all the time.
前にこのブログで私にとっていつも目標がないと元気になれないことについて書いた。今まで半年ぐらいその目標はアパートを買うことだった。2ヶ月前やっと買ってしまった。とても好きな、心地がいいアパートだからうれしい。現在インテリアで頑張っている。移動ボックスはどこにもあって、どの家具を買うことに同意できない。家具が高いし、色々なスタイルがあるし。難しいな。面白いポイントは、家具に興味かかってから服を買う興味がほとんど無くなった。あんなに簡単にその首位を捨てられるか知らなかった。最近、インテリアデザインブログや家具屋さんばかりだね。家具を見つけるや家の雰囲気のアイデアを見つけるためピントレストも良く使っている。IMG_20150725_173506  Ah, I mentioned goals. Now I don’t have a specific goal to aim at. At least nothing big. So I need to make small goals, to somehow something to strive to and to get a bit lost in the current. My goals at the moment are:

– Save to and plan for going to Japan over new years.
– Learn more Japanese
– Get into and save in investment funds
– Get the apartment furnished and neat

Nothing big, nothing complicated but at least a start.
また目標の話だけど、家をもう買ったから今度はなんだろう。一応秋のため小さな目標を設定した。それがないとゲンァイに迷ってしまうから。目標はこちら:

・お正月の日本の旅行のため計画したりお金を貯めたりすること。
・もっと日本語を勉強すること。
・投資信託にインベストメントすること。
・アパートを心地よくすること。

大したものないけど、スタートとして十分だ。
DSC_8652DSC_8650These last pictures are from my parents’ house this weekend. The fields are already turning golden and it feels like summer never happened. I’m already in autumn mood despite August just having begun and the news said that the summer heat we have been waiting for all July is finally about to come. Why can’t I ever live in the present? That might just be my biggest issue in life.
下の写真を週末に実感で撮った。畑もう黄色くなってきたのに夏は起こっていない気持ちがする。八月が始まったばかりなのにすでに私は先に秋モードに入った。しかも、天気予報でずうっと待ってた夏の気持ちいい暑さはこれからくると言った。 一体なぜ私は今を生きることができないんだろう?もしかしてそれは私の人生の中一番大変な問題かもしれない。IMG_20150801_195044As you can see I’m more and more just using this blog to post random photos and to do some sort of self therapy. Don’t know why, but I feel the urge to apologize to any readers who expected something.
さあ、最近このブログはただランダムな撮った写真と自分のセラピーみたいなためになってしまった。なぜか分からないけど、違うものを期待していた読者に申し訳ないって伝いたい。IMG_20150801_195000

2 thoughts on “Hiking and thinking 山登りと考えること

  1. Part of this post makes me wonder if you weren’t on a pilgrimage rather than on vacation. On a pilgrimage, if it’s long enough, one may learn to drop all unnecessary thoughts and live in the moment. It is only this moment that is real, anyway. All the rest is illusion. So if you find yourself thinking this or that is real, look to see if that supposed reality is actually in your surroundings right now. If you can’t see it, then it’s only a thought in your head. Learn to drop these illusory thoughts. Takes time but is well worth the effort!

    1. I guess you are right about that. Sadly I think this pilgrimage was too short for any of those feelings to really stuck in my head… I don’t know if it’s relevant, but most of my life I’ve been imagining that opposite to what you say, that all time exists all the time (weird sentence but I hope you get it). So in my mind, I guess there actually isn’t a now… Thank you as always for your encouragement🙂

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